Trending – See the new kind of wedding reception.

My friend and I decided to chill out last Saturday. Life is not too serious biko. Man needs a break!

The only problem was, it was a weekend, cinema price has doubled, abi tribbled actually.

Just imagine buying one ticket for N3,500, Dear Manager of Cinema, the tree where I am plucking the money, go there and pluck by yourself. 

Abi is it not movie I want to watch ni? Hai! Na wa o.. Anyway, liver did not allow me to do that kind of thing and I strongly discouraged my friend not to try it. 

Because even if she pays, na me go bare the heart attack, I can’t sleep. 

We wanted to just buy meat pie and coke, gist and go home, but the meat pie will not belle full us and by the time we finish gisting, the hunger would have doubled, plus the eyes that would be looking at us up and down telling us we don’t have money to afford a plate of Chinese rice and shawarma. As if it’s their money that we don’t have.

Anyway, after much ado, we found a way to save the economy.

Today is Saturday, Saturday is for owambe! Yepii!!!

Problem solved.

But we wanted to make the experience real and original. “Let’s go to church first” I told my friend.

At least, in church we will pay offering and be fully entitled to the reception rice. Bless you brother.

If we had known.

Menh.. You needed to see the bride and groom looking so elegant and classy. Their money long. These were the kind of wedding whose reception, you could eat a bawl and take a tanker home! And we were ready.

Quick one, I sha saw something in the wedding programme; “…brief reception immediately after service”

I wanted to draw my friend’s attention to it. That was our mission, after all.

But wait, did I not study English? “Brief reception” that means, they nor go waste time at all.

Share the food, cake and souvenir sharp sharp, we may even have more time to visit another reception. 

Alright, I was satisfied in my heart, and my dancing steps increase for the moment.

Bride and groom have been joined as husband and wife. Church was about closing, the couple were on the dance floor. Love in the air.

Ushers started sharing something like a takeaway, woow, this is amazing. I have never seen this type before. You mean they will share food in church and we will still go and chop at the reception. Fantastic! “Thank you Father for leading us here”.

I started praying for the couple, God will bless them and tremendously increase their pocket. You know I’m a Christian and a prayer warrior. These things come easy for me. 

Church has closed, everybody was smiling and walking away.

We sighted this elegant lady about to enter her car, she is obviously heading to the reception. Let us be her company. I dragged my friend, and we rushed towards her.

“Hey sis, I guess you are heading for the reception?” Of course we could do that, we were classically and tushly dress, with my shining teeth and oyibo accent. What to do brother.

“Ohh, there is no reception. I guess you got a pack in church.”

Me trying to process the statement. Warris this one saying? Abi is her phone that is confusing me.

I lifted the wedding programme to my face and the sentence I saw earlier became bolder and clearer.

“…Brief reception immediately after service”

But wait na, sister, what about the reception hall, Mr DJ, the cake, serve yourself, souvenirs, this is not nice na.

My friend tapped me and whispered, “hey babe, na small chops they serve us o”

“Small chops!!” The way I screamed, mesef I didn’t understand.

Like, why would they do that to us? No jollof rice!

This is not a Nigeria wedding. Something is wrong somewhere.

These people are not poor ni, they must be very stingy and wicked!!

Do you know how many persons depend on party jollof rice every Saturday?

This is becoming a trend and must not be accepted!

Stakeholders of Owambe Association, something must be done!

And somebody at home was telling me; “so far, the man has married his wife.”

If you see my eyes ehh, “marry which wife!” They are partially married as far as I am concern!

Your candid opinion needed.

What are your stakes in these matters?

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